Leaving Church
I promised myself that I would blog more of the books I read – so easy just to put them down and read the next one. Over the summer I’ve read a pile of books, some for work, some for review, and some just for me! One that I read purely for my own interest was Leaving Church: a memoir of faith – I think I saw it pre-viewed on Prodigal Kiwis blog and ordered it right away. 
This is the book I quoted from in my Greenbelt talk back in August.
Leaving Church is an account of Barbara Brown Taylor’s own journey into faith, ministry, and then Ordination; then her experience of life as a parish priest, first in a big city and later in a small rural town. Eventually, the story begins to track how and why she leaves the life of a Parish priest, and what are the good and bad things about that experience. I trust (given the title) that that is not too much of a spoiler.
One of the reasons I love this book is because it traces the ambivalence that any Priest worth her (or his) salt is bound to live with – loving God, loving the Church and yet being painfully aware that commitment to Church brings as many constraints as it does freedoms, as many handicaps as priveleges. Taylor puts her finger on the tension between living out what you believe you were called for, and living within the expectations that others have of a priest (almost invariably not the same thing!) To be a priest with any authenticity you have to be fully human, and yet very often it is the Church community that works against that necessity. Sometimes people will not accept ministry if you are not a priest, and yet they won’t accept your humanity if you are. Taylor also relates beautifully and tenderly the tension of living with a sense of calling, and the way in which that can so easily spill over into sheer workaholism and the inability to say "no".
The title, "leaving" might just as easily be read as "finding" – it’s not a negative account at all, more an account of how, in order to continue a journey of faith and simply of human life, the season of ordained ministry had to be put to one side. One of the reasons I like the book so much is that – unlike so much other rhetoric among Church leavers that is very simplistically anti-priest and anti-institution – she offers considered insight into the tensions of faith communities and their leaders, and shows how sometimes those communities disallow our calling first to be human, and only then to be ministers. She doesn’t claim to have left the Church because she didn’t believe in it any more, nor because she didin’t believe in what she had done thus far, and she doesn’t hold the Church in any kind of contempt. Rather, she relates the complex reasons why a clear shift in role and direction became desirable for her, and what she learned along the way. There are plenty of people who will give a bitter account of why they left, trashing where they have been before. It’s refreshing to read someone who gives an affectionate and grateful account, despite finding in necessary to leave all the same.
I think anyone interested in Church would benefit from reading this – priests and leaders and ministers of course, but perhaps also those who take different roles within Christian communities – if we could think together about our mutual ministries and what our various roles give to the community, perhaps it would be possible to break down in some places the undesirable divide between the "professional" and the "rest" and start living as communities of truly interdependent people? Either that or I imagine that I and many others will eventually follow the path that Barbara Brown Taylor has found essential.
9 Responses to “Leaving Church”
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Maggi has kept a blog since September 2003, writing about theology and faith, the arts and literature, and a little about life and random nonsense...
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I did not expect this book to written by a priest. I am rather shocked by this. I might pick up this book merely to get an insight into the mind of a worker of God who leaves the institution of church.
Thank for the thoughts, more yet for the recommendation.
-Chase
I liked her line in the book that said that she always got invited to the Christmas parties but never the New Years Eve parties.
I felt like she made the point that she translated her love of God into an assumption that this meant she should be a priest; and only later she realized that being a priest required more than just loving God, that it required a set of personality characteristics that she realized she didn’t have. But she also, later in the book, raised a set of theological questions that she didn’t delve into all that much, but it did suggest a more questioning and open theology that was not rooted so much in dogma. And she also made clear that she was not comfortable with a church that was based on a clear division of roles between clergy and lay people. I heard her do a radio interview in which she talked about this; I think she also discussed it in the book–where she wanted to see a church in which everyone rotated and shared the various roles. Given that I have a Quake background, this sounded pretty Quakerish to me, although she probably still likes the liturgy and sacraments that Quakers eschew. Anyway, I felt like in many ways she was dissatisfied with the ways that churches are run now, and so she went farther than just personal dissatisfaction with her life in the clergy and felt that the church experience herself isn’t always what suits her.
What a gorgeous review, Maggi. This line made my heart jump:
break down in some places the undesirable divide between the “professional” and the “rest” and start living as truly interdependent communities
Taylor was on US public radio (http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5723546) for an hour – well worth a web listen.
In a week in which the constraints of the institution have weighed quite heavily on me, this was good to read. The book was on my wish list anyway…now heading up the pile rapidly.
Thanks for the tip.
Maggi, what a lovely review. I think you’ve put your finger on why the book appealed in the first place. I’m accutely aware (as an accompanier of many friends who are priests/ministers ) of the:
“tension between living out what you believe you were called FOR, and living within the expectations that others have of a priest (almost invariably not the same thing!) To be a priest with any authenticity you have to be fully human, and yet very often it is the Church community that works against that necessity.
Sometimes people will not accept ministry if you are not a priest, and yet they won’t accept your humanity if you are.
Taylor also relates beautifully and tenderly the tension of living with a sense of calling, and the way in which that can so easily spill over into sheer workaholism and the inability to say “no”.”
I’ve blogged at least once on the relation between “church” and it’s tendency to de-humanise RATHER than “humanise” persons (at both a leadership & congregational level). One of the great sadnesses I have.
Maggi, thanks for taking the time to review the book. Great!
I was touched by the warmth of your review Maggi, I smiled and felt that I probably liked Barbara Brown Taylor.
Just a thought
your use of the word ’season’ struck me. We ordain priests to be all things to all people for all time. That’s a tough ask and this is not just ‘people’s’ misplaced assumptions but a direct consequence of the way the Cof E works.
But for a season.
And then I think of Lindisfarne, Holy Island, with its rhythm of being cut off -time for stillness – and then linked to the mainland – time for getting out and serving
you mention season
The Celtic monks were often wanderers, pilgrims doing what fell in their way …
for a season.
What demands we make of priests-for-life
perhaps we could share as priests for a season
Looks worth a read. Are there any books by clergy who are lazy – or do they not write books? I just never see myself as a workaholic – if anything I have the opposite disorder. Would be nice to know there was at least a few clergy with my problem
I ran across a video today that is talking about how we should not refer to God as a woman. Trying to get some thoughts on this subject, thought you might have some stuff to say. Here is the link: http://pschase.blogspot.com/2006/10/god-as-woman.html, can’t wait to see what you say.
-Chase
To be a minister of the gospel is probably the greatest honour that God can bestow on someone, unfortunately it comes with a pickford van load of pastoral baggage. It is a labour of love – of love for Christ. I once worshipped in a church where I thought the people weren’t being as friendly to me as they might, I prayed quite earnestly about it one day and I felt as though the lord was saying to me – You are not following them you are following me you are not serving them you are serving me – So this made me realise that my Christian faith and life and service was first and foremost to and for the Lord .