” ‘I try not to doubt,’ the Mayor said. ” ‘Oh, so do I. So do I. In that we are certainly alike.’ ”The Mayor put his hand for the moment on Father Quixote’s shoulder, and Father Quixote could feel the electricity of affection in the touch. It’s odd, he thought, as he steered [his car] with undue caution round a curve, how sharing a sense of doubt can bring men together perhaps even more than sharing a faith. The believer will fight another believer over a shade of difference; the doubter fights only with himself.”

Graham Greene, Monsignor Quixote

John 20 relates the story of the disciple who was not there when Jesus’ made a resurrection appearace to the gathered disciples. Later he couldn’t take in the information – couldn’t believe unless he saw for himself.

Thomas has often been called "doubting Thomas" – a title that is hardly a compliment. But there are lots of reasons, I think, for applauding Thomas – he was honest, he didn’t pretend to have faith he didn’t have, he didn’t just go along with the crowd. He did that very hard thing, which is to own up to being the odd one out among a group of friends. And, bravely, even when he was the odd one out, he didn’t go away and isolate himself, he jsut carried on meeting with the other disciples until, a week later, he saw Jesus for himself and found a faith that he COULD own.

Doubt is not the same as unbelief. Unbelief is a determined refusal to believe, whereas doubt is an honest owning up to not being convinced. In Judaism, according to Jonathan Sacks, the Chief Rabbi of Britain and the Commonwealth, "To be without questions is not a sign of faith, but of lack of depth." And he encourages people not only to ask questions about the meaning of the faith, but to question God. We ask questions, says Sacks, "not because we doubt, but because we believe."

Some years ago I went through a period of profound doubt in the existence of God. I suppose most people do at some point, but it was a particular crisis for me as I had just begun training for ordination at the time. (If only I could have lost my faith six months earlier when I still had a career going elsewhere!) After a while I decided to own up and tell one of my Tutors what was going on. I fully expected to be told to get my act together, or catch the next train out of Cambridge. But no. this older, wise person said, "You’ve been a Christian for nearly three decades already: your faith is in your bones and your marrow. If you’re really losing your faith, it’s going to take time. So you can afford to relax. Don’t feel obliged to believe anything you don’t believe. Keep on studying, keep on hanging around the community, and just see what happens. If God is there he will show up again sooner or later…   Oh, and by the way, if you find that God actually DOESN’T exist, you’d better come back and tell me as I shall want to leave the Church too."
This proved eminently sensible advice. Without the pressure to produce the elusive faith I relaxed in my doubts for a few months. And somewhere – I can’t quite think when or how – suddenly there it was again. There HE was again.

Thomas obviously didn’t go ON being troubled with doubt. Christian tradition has it that Thomas was the disciple who took the gospel to India, where later he was martyred. And people don’t get martyred for something they aren’t too convinced about.

Coleridge wrote some good stuff about doubt. Here’s a thought for the day:
"Dubious questioning is a much better evidence than that senseless deadness which most take for believing. People that know nothing…have no doubts. Never be afraid to doubt, if only you have the disposition to believe, and doubt in order that you may end in believing the truth."